Okay, here’s the official Christmas letter.
DECEMBER 19th, 2023
GORDON: I’m starting to have Xmas overload, and things are just getting started – let me explain. We had a pretty quiet year, but somehow everything we HAD to do kinda got crammed into late November/early December. We had booked a tour of European Christmas Markets way last year, thinking it would be a nice way to kick off the season. Of course we didn’t get around to being serious about planning it until right around Thanksgiving, which came just before Barb’s birthday (always a stressful time for her, plus I’m not allowed to celebrate it until I catch up four days later, but God help me if I don’t give her a card). So we stuffed Turkey for the four days between Thanksgiving and BDay, then had our combined birthday steak dinner, which got us to a day before departure (My birthday present was 12 hours in the air). After usual lost luggage issues in Amsterdam, we got to the ship and did our first forced-march tour of the city. And for the next seven days we saw the wonders of Rhine Cities (It was wonderful, but exhausting, Barb started calling each day the new Death March). We got back in time to buy tree, hang lights, see two concerts, sing in a third one, and get Barb’s Miata in for major service. We now have two days to write letters and get them mailed so forgive us if this hits your mailbox a little late.
Actually we did have a little fun earlier in the year. Barb was still recovering from last year’s Baltic cruise and didn’t want to do another long flight until much later in the year, so we did a See the USA tour. This one focused on the Utah parks we hadn’t already seen, after a day spent with an old band buddy of mine, whose wife and Barb get along famously – they’re both fascinated by magicians, and have several other interests in common, so Billy and I could just hang back and watch the fun, much like we did as the “sober” band members 50+ years ago. After that we, headed for Moab, via the headwaters of the Colorado River – a magical drive, and great precursor to for Arches National Park. Of course, Arches was overbooked by the time we got around to making reservations, so we had a day to run around Moab. Turns out there’s lots of scenery outside the park that can be accessed by All Terrain Vehicles, so we had to try that. ATVs are sorta like rollercoaster cars that you steer, and the route we took provided the track. I was having a party driving almost vertically up – and down – following the leader. He told us “trust the machine” and it didn’t fail us, but he did forget to mention that occasionally he’d drop over a cliff and not completely get out of the way at the bottom, and of course we couldn’t see him until we were already dropping. Much screeching from Barb the Backseat Driver, but we never actually hit anyone, and the machine proved trustworthy. Barb was VERY happy to spend the next day on paved roads in our rental SUV (they didn’t have my requested small sedan at the rent-a-car place, so we did all our driving in a Suburban). Got lots of shots of cool arches and other formations. On our way to Salt Lake City to fly back we saw Canyonlands and Capital Reef, and sneaked in an organ concert at the Mormon Tabernacle. Altogether fun, and it didn’t require a 12-hour flight to access it.
Aside from our trips, it’s been a pretty quiet year. I’m still doing some consulting work for old clients, and docenting for the Los Angeles Conservancy, along with celebrating 25 years of Board Membership at Partners in Care Foundation (www.PICF.org) as we’ve pioneered ways to keep people with chronic illnesses out of hospitals. I’ll let Barb do the honors about the Rhine Cruise.
BARB: Our next big trip was a Christmas Rhine cruise because we wanted to experience snow for the holiday. Just not too much snow. We splurged and flew Premium Economy. Cost more but you get more room and better treats. Our flight (via KLM) was uneventful, except for the glares we got from the poor bastards in economy. because we had to use the same bathroom. I didn’t care. I peed when I had to, and we got to Amsterdam in good shape. We took a walking tour of the city that afternoon. I loved the canals and the houses that leaned forward. They were designed that way so water couldn’t pool on the roof and rot the wood. I don’t know if I’d trust the leaning walls considering they’re anchored on marshy ground but they’ve stood for 200 years so I guess they’re solid. We went back to the boat for necessary drills, had dinner, and went to bed early. We toured another Dutch small town, Dordrecht (or something like that) the next day. Learned that the town survived because the Nazis bombed Rotterdam instead of them. History in that part of the world is pre-WWII and after WWII. I enjoyed the Netherlands but after that things sort of ran together. I particularly remember Cologne (Koln). The guide was the son of a German man and a Moroccan woman. His name was Mohammed and he editorialized about non-whites feeling sorry for themselves. He said his mother told him not to act like a jerk and he’d be all right. He said she was right; he’d never experienced discrimination. He also declared that the Green policies Germany had adopted were killing people. He said Americans were too polite and should start telling people off when Europeans criticized them for not being Socialist. I imagine he’s been fired by now but I admired his courage in speaking out. And he knew his history. We went off on our own to view the cathedral, which was spectacular. Large wet flakes of snow fell as we wandered through the Christmas market so we got our white Christmas. We bought hats and a Christmas ornament then went to a restaurant the guide had recommended. He said everybody spoke English and all took credit cards. He was wrong. We managed to find the only waiter who didn’t speak English and he indicated they didn’t take credit cards after we ordered. Gordon had packed all our leftover money from past European trips to pay for the ‘toilet frau’ but we used most of it up to pay the bill. Which meant we had to be careful about fluid consumption. We didn’t want to water a bush and cause an international incident because we ran out of 50 cent pieces for the bathroom. And, of course, we left our debit cards at home so we couldn’t go to a bank and withdraw cash. So unprepared. But we made do.
We saw more little towns and Christmas markets but only Mannheim and Strasbourg stick out. Mannheim is a university town specializing in music and their buildings miraculously missed being bombed. A fellow ex-military tourist explained it simply: “They missed.” So the town square is still lovely. We snuck a free bathroom break in an art museum then bought amber and scarves at the market.
We toured Strasbourg and admired the architecture and swinging bridges. We attended an organ concert at the cathedral. Everybody oohed and aahed at the organist, but I get to hear people that good when we sit in with Lutherans. We’re spoiled. Great cathedral though. We shopped but we were getting a little tired of Christmas markets. Charming but we’d already bought what we wanted.
We’d recovered enough strength that we went caroling on the boat after dinner. They kept giving us booze—champagne reception, wine with dinner, schnapps just to warm up—so we were well-oiled enough to bellow along. One drunken passenger announced that we were obviously professional singers and we should sing for everyone. We weren’t that drunk so we begged off, saying the pianist wasn’t playing in our key. The woman must have been really drunk to make the request, we weren’t that good, but Gordon says “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” Maybe she was deaf.
We changed seats at dinner every night so we met a woman who’d worked at South Dakota State University, and a woman who used to go to the Lutheran church we sing at. She said she remembered Foghorn. Apparently, Foghorn’s been putting people off for decades. But we enjoyed meeting our fellow passengers.
On the trip home Gordon got an offer from Air France to upgrade to Business Class for half-price so he took it. I loved it. I got to stretch out in comfort for eleven hours. And we got our own bathroom! No glares from the sardines in Economy! The only annoyance was the butler (that’s what he seemed like); he kept waking me up to offer me stuff. He said I could have all the wine I wanted. I just wanted water. But it’s going to be hard to go back to Premium Economy after traveling in comfort. Maybe if we have a windfall…
Out of space so have a Happy and a Merry and a ho ho ho.