Month: December 2023

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Christmas 2023

Okay, here’s the official Christmas letter.

DECEMBER 19th, 2023
GORDON: I’m starting to have Xmas overload, and things are just getting started – let me explain. We had a pretty quiet year, but somehow everything we HAD to do kinda got crammed into late November/early December. We had booked a tour of European Christmas Markets way last year, thinking it would be a nice way to kick off the season. Of course we didn’t get around to being serious about planning it until right around Thanksgiving, which came just before Barb’s birthday (always a stressful time for her, plus I’m not allowed to celebrate it until I catch up four days later, but God help me if I don’t give her a card). So we stuffed Turkey for the four days between Thanksgiving and BDay, then had our combined birthday steak dinner, which got us to a day before departure (My birthday present was 12 hours in the air). After usual lost luggage issues in Amsterdam, we got to the ship and did our first forced-march tour of the city. And for the next seven days we saw the wonders of Rhine Cities (It was wonderful, but exhausting, Barb started calling each day the new Death March). We got back in time to buy tree, hang lights, see two concerts, sing in a third one, and get Barb’s Miata in for major service. We now have two days to write letters and get them mailed so forgive us if this hits your mailbox a little late.
Actually we did have a little fun earlier in the year. Barb was still recovering from last year’s Baltic cruise and didn’t want to do another long flight until much later in the year, so we did a See the USA tour. This one focused on the Utah parks we hadn’t already seen, after a day spent with an old band buddy of mine, whose wife and Barb get along famously – they’re both fascinated by magicians, and have several other interests in common, so Billy and I could just hang back and watch the fun, much like we did as the “sober” band members 50+ years ago. After that we, headed for Moab, via the headwaters of the Colorado River – a magical drive, and great precursor to for Arches National Park. Of course, Arches was overbooked by the time we got around to making reservations, so we had a day to run around Moab. Turns out there’s lots of scenery outside the park that can be accessed by All Terrain Vehicles, so we had to try that. ATVs are sorta like rollercoaster cars that you steer, and the route we took provided the track. I was having a party driving almost vertically up – and down – following the leader. He told us “trust the machine” and it didn’t fail us, but he did forget to mention that occasionally he’d drop over a cliff and not completely get out of the way at the bottom, and of course we couldn’t see him until we were already dropping. Much screeching from Barb the Backseat Driver, but we never actually hit anyone, and the machine proved trustworthy. Barb was VERY happy to spend the next day on paved roads in our rental SUV (they didn’t have my requested small sedan at the rent-a-car place, so we did all our driving in a Suburban). Got lots of shots of cool arches and other formations. On our way to Salt Lake City to fly back we saw Canyonlands and Capital Reef, and sneaked in an organ concert at the Mormon Tabernacle. Altogether fun, and it didn’t require a 12-hour flight to access it.
Aside from our trips, it’s been a pretty quiet year. I’m still doing some consulting work for old clients, and docenting for the Los Angeles Conservancy, along with celebrating 25 years of Board Membership at Partners in Care Foundation (www.PICF.org) as we’ve pioneered ways to keep people with chronic illnesses out of hospitals. I’ll let Barb do the honors about the Rhine Cruise.


BARB: Our next big trip was a Christmas Rhine cruise because we wanted to experience snow for the holiday. Just not too much snow. We splurged and flew Premium Economy. Cost more but you get more room and better treats. Our flight (via KLM) was uneventful, except for the glares we got from the poor bastards in economy. because we had to use the same bathroom. I didn’t care. I peed when I had to, and we got to Amsterdam in good shape. We took a walking tour of the city that afternoon. I loved the canals and the houses that leaned forward. They were designed that way so water couldn’t pool on the roof and rot the wood. I don’t know if I’d trust the leaning walls considering they’re anchored on marshy ground but they’ve stood for 200 years so I guess they’re solid. We went back to the boat for necessary drills, had dinner, and went to bed early. We toured another Dutch small town, Dordrecht (or something like that) the next day. Learned that the town survived because the Nazis bombed Rotterdam instead of them. History in that part of the world is pre-WWII and after WWII. I enjoyed the Netherlands but after that things sort of ran together. I particularly remember Cologne (Koln). The guide was the son of a German man and a Moroccan woman. His name was Mohammed and he editorialized about non-whites feeling sorry for themselves. He said his mother told him not to act like a jerk and he’d be all right. He said she was right; he’d never experienced discrimination. He also declared that the Green policies Germany had adopted were killing people. He said Americans were too polite and should start telling people off when Europeans criticized them for not being Socialist. I imagine he’s been fired by now but I admired his courage in speaking out. And he knew his history. We went off on our own to view the cathedral, which was spectacular. Large wet flakes of snow fell as we wandered through the Christmas market so we got our white Christmas. We bought hats and a Christmas ornament then went to a restaurant the guide had recommended. He said everybody spoke English and all took credit cards. He was wrong. We managed to find the only waiter who didn’t speak English and he indicated they didn’t take credit cards after we ordered. Gordon had packed all our leftover money from past European trips to pay for the ‘toilet frau’ but we used most of it up to pay the bill. Which meant we had to be careful about fluid consumption. We didn’t want to water a bush and cause an international incident because we ran out of 50 cent pieces for the bathroom. And, of course, we left our debit cards at home so we couldn’t go to a bank and withdraw cash. So unprepared. But we made do.


We saw more little towns and Christmas markets but only Mannheim and Strasbourg stick out. Mannheim is a university town specializing in music and their buildings miraculously missed being bombed. A fellow ex-military tourist explained it simply: “They missed.” So the town square is still lovely. We snuck a free bathroom break in an art museum then bought amber and scarves at the market.

We toured Strasbourg and admired the architecture and swinging bridges. We attended an organ concert at the cathedral. Everybody oohed and aahed at the organist, but I get to hear people that good when we sit in with Lutherans. We’re spoiled. Great cathedral though. We shopped but we were getting a little tired of Christmas markets. Charming but we’d already bought what we wanted.


We’d recovered enough strength that we went caroling on the boat after dinner. They kept giving us booze—champagne reception, wine with dinner, schnapps just to warm up—so we were well-oiled enough to bellow along. One drunken passenger announced that we were obviously professional singers and we should sing for everyone. We weren’t that drunk so we begged off, saying the pianist wasn’t playing in our key. The woman must have been really drunk to make the request, we weren’t that good, but Gordon says “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” Maybe she was deaf.


We changed seats at dinner every night so we met a woman who’d worked at South Dakota State University, and a woman who used to go to the Lutheran church we sing at. She said she remembered Foghorn. Apparently, Foghorn’s been putting people off for decades. But we enjoyed meeting our fellow passengers.


On the trip home Gordon got an offer from Air France to upgrade to Business Class for half-price so he took it. I loved it. I got to stretch out in comfort for eleven hours. And we got our own bathroom! No glares from the sardines in Economy! The only annoyance was the butler (that’s what he seemed like); he kept waking me up to offer me stuff. He said I could have all the wine I wanted. I just wanted water. But it’s going to be hard to go back to Premium Economy after traveling in comfort. Maybe if we have a windfall…


Out of space so have a Happy and a Merry and a ho ho ho.

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Christmas Letter Draft

I started our annual letter with a story about traveling to the national parks in Utah. I compared notes with Gordon and he’d written about the same stuff–except his was cuter. So we used his version. But I hate to toss anything so here’s my version. The full Christmas letter will follow in a few days.

Christmas 2023

The Christmas letter is late this year but we have a good excuse—we’ve been on the road.  We’ve been wandering around all year; down to the San Diego area to see various visiting relatives. It’s funny that everybody comes to SoCal to spend time and I’m trying to talk Gordon into leaving before Los Angeles turns into Detroit. He asks me where I want to go and I don’t have a good answer. So, I guess leaving isn’t in the immediate future. But it gives me something to bitch about and that always takes the pressure off Gordon.

We decided we should see American national parks while we can still walk so we booked a trip to Utah. We flew to Denver first to have dinner with Billy and Dawn Williams. Billy is an old band mate of Gordon’s and Dawn is a hoot. We had a great dinner after an eventful flight through thunderstorms. We spent the night at the Boulderado, an historic hotel in Boulder (duh). Boulder was a rich mining town so the facilities were built to impress the rich folks. Our room was decorated with antiques. The whole place was really cool. We enjoyed historic downtown Boulder and surrounding mansions then hit the road in our rented Suburban. We could have invaded a small country in that thing but all the small cars were out. It was take the Suburban or wait three hours. The Suburban was a gashog but it was comfortable and our luggage fit. Actually, we all rattled around like a BB in a boxcar but it got us around. Next day we drove straight through to Moab. It took six hours but the drive was interesting. We drove from Alpine settings to prairie to desert. It was gorgeous. We got to the Hampton Inn in Moab and were ungraded to a suite. I felt like royalty. We went to a local restaurant for Italian. I was surprised that I could order wine, you just can’t watch them pour it. That’s done in the kitchen. They call the booze policy the Zion Curtain. I didn’t care. I could have beer with pizza in Utah! We went to bed early.

We had choices as to outdoor activities. We looked at the river rafting options but there didn’t appear to be any white water; it was just drifting down the Colorado. Boring. I’d just get a sunburn. So we decided to go boulder surfing—at least that’s what I called it. We rented an off-road ATV, The guide told us to leave it in ‘high’ until we got to the hills. The engine screamed as we followed; I thought we were burning up the engine but the guide said it was normal. When we got to the hills we were told to drop into first gear and leave it there. We took off. The first twenty minutes were sheer terror. We were told to keep our hands and feet inside the cage and trust the machine. We roared straight up and plunged straight down. We almost tipped over a few times and I’m convinced that my butt clenching the seat saved us. Gordon, of course, had a ball. We surfed rocks for two hours. We watched another guy almost dump his truck so it can be done. Our guide said it happened all the time. He asked me why I didn’t scream. I told him Gordon (and my butt) was the only thing keeping us alive and I didn’t want to distract him. He laughed. We survived. I told a cousin this story and she asked how many years ago this happened. I said, “Last May.” We may be old be we refuse to grow up. Anyway, Gordon has life insurance. Of course, it’s not worth much…

We drove through Arches and Canyonlands the next day. An Australian mother-and-son unit commented at dinner that night that the landscape looked lunar to them. The mother said they’d traveled from Maine and were on their way to San Francisco. They loved the USA. I think they wanted to emigrate. I hope they don’t change their minds when they see what a mess San Francisco has become. I supposed we should have warned them.

We left our lovely suite and drove through Capitol Reef Park next day. We saw the petroglyphs of a lost native civilization. The story is: they were abducted by aliens. Really. Hey, maybe it’s true, I don’t know. The Mormons tried a settlement but gave up. They left all the fruit trees so the area is truly lovely. We took a few pictures and started the drive to Salt Lake City. We stopped half-way at a small-town Motel 6 or 8 or whatever it is these days. It was Sunday so the only things open were at a truck stop. We ate at Arby’s with the truckers. It reminded me of my childhood. Our room at the Motel whatever smelled of some anti-bacterial, anti-bug product. It almost killed me. I really missed our Hampton Inn suite but you take what you can get. We got to Salt Lake City and stayed at an historic hotel (forgot the name of it). We went across the street for a beer and chili and watched the Lakers get swept by the Nuggets. The locals were all Nuggets fans but they were nice. I think they felt sorry for us.

Next day we toured downtown and attended an organ concert before driving out to look at the Lake. It’s really low. The locals say agriculture takes so much of the winter runoff the lake is drying up. They’re working on fixing it. It was a nice trip but it was time to fly home. I was worried that Maggie, our cat, would be lonesome since her brother disappeared. She was fine. She’s a survivor. I wish I could have said the same about her brother.

Our next big trip was a Christmas Rhine cruise. I’m in Gordon’s space already so I’ll let him talk about it. I just want to say that we were unprepared. We found the only restaurant in Cologne (Koln) that didn’t take credit cards and the waiter didn’t speak English. We used up all our ‘toilet frau’ money paying the bill. Which meant we had to be careful about fluid consumption. We didn’t want to use a bush and cause an international incident because we ran out of 50 cent pieces for the bathroom. We’re ridiculous. Have a Happy and a Merry etc.